If i am autistic which seems more and more likely it would certainly explain why I'm so interested in appearing and acting "normal" to my own detriment
@BellBell I have a great fear and disdain and a fundamental lack of trust of medical professionals. what insight would i really gain that I couldn't gain on my own?
@BellBell I have never thought that I was normal, my self image has always been that I was unique but lesser. I have never really felt like a human in my life. I feel like I'm trying to blend in and trick people into thinking I deserve the same love and respect and rights that other humans do. I've had psych evals before.
When I was younger I was made to think autism was a life-ending diagnosis so I actually went online and looked up the "right" answers
@BellBell Not familiar with atomoxetine, I'll look it up. Adderall has been life changing, honestly. If something works better I'd be interested
@BellBell I already take welbutrin to great effect. Two neruoepinephrine re-uptake inhibitors mixed with welbutrins dopamine reup inhibition plus my tendency for mania seems risky. Pharmacology is an interest of mine though, still gonna read on it
@BellBell My fear of doctors and the like stems from pretty bad trauma, it's very hard for me to make myself see them. I am trying to get better at it though. If you really think it would be beneficial, I trust and respect ur judgement. When I get better at conquering the doctor fear, I will try to get one done. Sorry for spotty and all over replies, phoneposting.
@vriska masking is a neurodiverse thing, not just an autism thing, but that's picking nits
i will say that pretty much every trans woman i've met has been nd, and the autistic ones are consistently a lot more interesting than the adhd ones
(idk if you're interested in formal diagnosis, but it's bullshit for a lot of reasons besides medical violence. self-dx is rad)
@mono I'd be sincerely interested in hearing your thoughts on this when or if you have time. A few people I've talked to that are better read on the subject than me have said they think I'm "on the spectrum" so to speak.
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